Mark Thomas Info - Series 4 Info

Show 1 - Burma and Premier Oil.

Burma (Myanmar)

Poor regime. So bad that Britain does not sell arms to them!
Interview with Burmese ambassador, Dr Kwai Win
Mark gives a gift, some tripe along with some cooking advice
Also a Man U strip signed by David and Posh
Similes abound, feeding solids to a baby
Cultural differences cited for human rights abuses
So the Welsh have Male voice choirs, the French Cuisine, and Burma's got the national army all-formation torture team
Internal security most important according to Dr Win
More simile using a machine gun in one hand to get the population to accept the olive branch of peace in the other
2 comedians in Burma sentenced to 20 years for telling jokes. "That's a fuck of a heckle".
Mark continues getting under Dr Win's skin and smooth talking him about banning arms exports to Burma.
Starts comparing similar regimes such as Thailand and Indonesia. Mark considers calling the Indonesian Embassy to tell them that Burma thinks they are a role model
More similes from Mark comparing democracy to a house plant. The plant needs to be clipped.
1990 election Aung San Suu Kyi
He says that the election was never intended to transfer power to the winners
Quite a few companies have pulled out of Burma, Pepsico, Levi's and BHS

Premier Oil

Haven't pulled out, building an oil pipeline
Government will get £120 million from the deal
Buddhist monk hands in letter to Premier Oil to head of global social policy
Mark tries to speak to him but he doesn't want to but Mark manages to get him to watch a video
NAW DER LWEH HTOO is a Burmese refugee tells story of family and other villagers tied up by Burmese soldiers
Her friend was gang-raped in front of her husband
They cut out her babies heart with a knife and put it over a fire before making her and her husband eat it
Another tape smuggled out of Burma has Aung San Suu Kyi
She says that investing in Burma is tantamount to encouraging the military regime which is against a transition to democracy
Cut to Premier Oil's "Corporate Medical, Socio-Economic and Security advisor", Dr. Richard Jones. Not a happy bunny.
Robin Cook asked them not to work in Burma
He keeps referring to his chairman
Later Richard Jones calls and says that the Robin Cook statement wasn't entirely accurate.
That could change the focus of the show if we gad evidence of that.
Richard has some letters he could give Mark
Premier Oil letter - "At no time did he say or in any way suggest 'don't do it', pull out or words to that effect.

Robin Cook

Someone is lying. Is it Robin Cook or Premier Oil?
Getting an interview with Cook is unlikely but could engineer a chance meeting!
West Calder, Scotland. Mark and Buddhist Monk confront Robin Cook.
Spiritual healing ceremony
Mark quizzes Cook
He doesn't answer if he said "don't do it" to Premier Oil
Labour being taken to court by the Burma campaign group.

Credits

Written and performed by: MARK THOMAS
Associate Producer: JACK CHESHIRE
Researchers: DUNCAN BARNES, SUSAN FOULIS
Production Team: JAYNE HANCOCK, NICK MICOURIS
Production Assistant: CHARLOTTE HILLS
Production Manager: CATHERINE STRAUSS
Titles & Design: BLAZKHO
Scenic Supervisor: GABRIEL MOSSA
Gaffer: STEVE SMITH
Vision Mixer: LEIGH PANTON
Floor Manager: GRIFF EVANS
OB Camera Supervisor: ROB SARGENT
Sound Supervisor: KEITH NIXON
Lighting Director: ROBIN THORBURN
Location Camera: JAMES SALIGARI
Location Sound: GRANT LAWSON
Dubbing Mixer: ELI PERL
On Line Editor: NICK KING
Off Line Editor: STEVE TEMPIA
Location Producer: CHRISTOPHER MARTIN
Director: MICHAEL CUMMING
Producer: GEOFF ATKINSON
Made by VERA for Channel Four
© Channel Four Television Corporation MCMXCIX

Show 2 - Iraqi Sanctions.

Iraqi sanctions

Politicians say Saddam is mad as a hatter but when did they decide, when they sold him the gas or when he used it.
I think you'll find his madness is linked to the price of oil.
CIA sponsor dissident groups to unseat him
Myth of the smart bomb. Why did they destroy 600 schools in the 1st Iraq war
Clinton, at the height of his Lewinski impeachment he ordered the bombing of Baghdad with operation Desert Fox.
People died because somebody sucked his cock
Sanctions are crucial thing. Nothing gets in to Iraq without an export license

Ping pong balls
Pencils
Pencil sharpeners
Notepads
Medical texts
Sanitary towels - some of them have got wings you see

Unicef estimate a quarter to half a million children under 5 have died as the result of sanctions.
Met Voices in the Wilderness people who go sanction busting. Top people, Christians but lovely
Exported medicines, toys etc. Have been fined over 200,000 dollars for importing an Iraqi water bottle and a stamp
Went to Washington to talk to them and decided to visit some senators, congressmen etc. about it
Went to whitehouse. The whitehouse is really odd, for a start it's off-cream.
When we go in get stopped by security while all the crew are let through, thinking he wouldn't get in.
Suddenly a voice shouts "Fucking Hell, it's Mark Thomas". It's 3 English lads. "You're not fucking with them are ya?" They ask. "Will you keep it down" says Mark.
0-10 scale of evil, where would Saddam come, Mark asked David Leavy, Whitehouse National Security Council Spokesperson. He says he's at the higher end.
Evidence of black market dealing in the goods being supplied in return for oil. Evidence that Saddam is building a Hotel with an amusement park including a Ferris Wheel.
Weird that he's got a Ferris wheel but jut as wierd that they are using it as a propaganda tool.
Mark puts the child mortality figures to David Leavy who says that is Saddam's fault not the sanctions.
Taking beanie babies out to Iraq without a license. Mr Leavy cuts short the interview fairly soon.
Head across town and suddenly get an angry call from David Leavy saying "It is not appropriate to use a Beanie Baby in an interview!".
Go to see Congressman Robert Menendez (Democrat, New Jersey - House International Relations Committee) with a video of sanction busting in Iraq with some cancer medicine for a young boy, which is in violation of US law.
Part 2 - There's a British Law "Intent to conspire to Export without an Export License". What does this mean? If I want to take something to Iraq and I think about it am I intending to?
Got a bag of medicines and a ticket to Oman(Amman?) in Jordan.
Phoned up Crimestoppers and shops himself
Suggest he goes to Scotland Yard they send him to the DTI
Goes to DTI, they send him to Customs and Excise who take him in.
Bit Sweeney like characters and shops himself. The law is only used retrospectively when someone has attempted to leave the country.
Mark asks why people who have been caught haven't been prosecuted. They say it's up to the Attorney General.
Cut to outside Attorney General's office with Mark handcuffed to a cage and phones him, speaks to Rupert Cazalet, Private Secretary to the Attorney General.
Tries to present evidence. Police turn up and advise him he can be arrested for chaining himself to the railing and can he move.
Asks if there is a policy not to prosecute due to fear of the publicity.
They claim Customs haven't handed them any papers.
Packing up the gear and he phones back and says they have had reports but no prosecution. Decision because it wasn't felt that it was needed.
He says Mark sounded like a Nazi. Is that actionable?
So where exactly is the point when you will be prosecuted.
Mark goes on the Big Breakfast show 8:30am, 23rd September 1999.
Going to try and take a teddy bear to a little girl in hospital in Baghdad.
Phones up customs and excise. Some confusion over who would issue a license for the bear until they realise it's not a real bear.
Then speaks to Mark Thompson, Customs and Excise at 9:45 am who suggests they check with French customs when they get there.
Next day they phone the DTI to ask if it is OK for them to get stuff to Amman for pick up by someone from Iraq.
Bloke there says "this is only provisional, but if it is known that any item is going to Iraq, from the UK, an application must be made for a UK export license beforehand." Which contradicts the Customs and Excise advice.
Absurd behaviour over the export of a Teddy Bear.
We have to lift the sanctions on Iraq and make sure they don't sell him any guns.
Kathy Kelly from Voices in the Wilderness video over titles with a harrowing story about the death of a child.

Credits

Written and performed by: MARK THOMAS
Associate Producer: JACK CHESHIRE
Researchers: DUNCAN BARNES, SUSAN FOULIS
Production Team: JAYNE HANCOCK, NICK MICOURIS
Production Assistant: CHARLOTTE HILLS
Production Manager: CATHERINE STRAUSS
Titles & Design: BLAZKHO
Scenic Supervisor: GABRIEL MOSSA
Gaffer: STEVE SMITH
Vision Mixer: LEIGH PANTON
Floor Manager: GRIFF EVANS
OB Camera Supervisor: TIM HIGHMOOR
Sound Supervisor: KEITH MAYES
Lighting Director: ROBIN THORBURN
Location Camera: JAMES SALIGARI
Location Sound: SEAN TAYLOR
Additional Camera: BRIAN ROBERTS
Dubbing Mixer: ELI PERL
On Line Editor: NICK KING
Off Line Editor: STEVE TEMPIA
Location Producer: CHRISTOPHER MARTIN
Director: MICHAEL CUMMING
Producer: GEOFF ATKINSON
Made by VERA for Channel Four
© Channel Four Television Corporation MCMXCIX

Show 3 - Nestle Baby Milk.

Nestle

Baby Milk powder - Nestle largest food manufacturer in the world, their annual budget is $7 billion.
Brand loyalty is important, how can I be loyal to a bar of chocolate?
Problem with baby milk powder. Nothing wrong with he product but something wrong with how it is used.
WHO say if t=you could reverse the downward trend in breast feeding you could save 1.5 million children's lives.
Products not clearly labelled. 1981 WHO developed the WHO code (Nothing to do with Roger Daltrey swinging microphones and trout fishing)
WHO code about the advertising and marketing of baby milk powder, Nestle signed up to it and even give out a charter to members of the public.
"Nestle Does... Comply with both the letter and the spirit of the WHO International Code"
"Nestle Does... Support efforts by governments to implement the International Code"
Also ask the public to bring to their attention any practises in developing countries that do not comply with the WHO code.
Mark's moral duty to bring a few things they had found to their attention
Nescafe launch party on the day of the eclipse in Piccadilly circus. Martine McCutcheon launches new Nescafe sign, 11 August 1999.
Mark speaks to Marion Irving, Chief Press Officer, Nestle UK Ltd.
Tells her their charter is wrong, she says she believes they behave ethically.
She says if people come up with actual evidence then they will act upon it, but people don't.
We went away and started phoning up some of the Southern African countries. Phoned Zimbabwe and got put through to Dr Timothy Stamps the Health Minister and Vice President of the WHO.
Nestle say that Zimbabwe support them and that they comply with the code. He says they do comply with the original 1981 code, but don't necessarily comply with subsequent resolutions which are equally important.
Nestle called a meeting with the parliamentarians (only 3 turned up) and told them that if Zimbabwe put the code into regulations then tey would remove themselves from Zimbabwe!
Prima baby show at Olympia. Nestle have a stall there, time to muck about.
New marketing logo is a blue bear, Mark goes in dressed as the grey bear of truth and hugs the blue bear..
Plays recording of Health minister phone call to staff who aren't interested in listening to any of this. Leave after a few more bear moments.
Then received a tin of baby milk from Mozambique. All instructions are in English. 33 languages ad dialects recognised in Mozambique. English isn't one of them.
Duty bound to tell Nestle about this. Nestle UK refused to talk on camera, said they would fax their answers.
So we went to Switzerland where Nestle have a food museum where we set up a little stall with the tins on show and started phoning up the executives.
No-one in the museum thought for a moment that we hadn't got permission!
Speaks to Geoffrey Fookes, Head of Corporate Affairs, Nestle Suisse S.A. who says he does not give impromptu interviews over the telephone.
We drive round to his office with the evidence that we had on display at the museum.
Huge HQ, went to the boot of the car and were escorted in "This was please, gentlemen".
Sit in concrete room with a view overlooking Lake Geneva. Mark imagines they have underground bunkers with loads of blokes running around in orange or white boiler suits and there's a monorail system or little mini-mokes and somewhere in the middle a big machine going "5 days and 3 hours till countdown.
Eventually Mr Renk walks in and they show him the exhibit, this tin is a breach of the code. He said "that's your interpretation".
Tin from Malawi instructions in English and French. In 1994 the Malawi government asked Nestle to put instructions in Chechewa(sp?), the local language. 5 years later they haven't done it.
Nestle weren't talking to us but we found them at a stall at the Lib Dem conference in Harrogate.
Cut to Mark dressed up as a tin of Lactogen.
Nestle said they agreed to put the Malawi language on the tins but had been having trouble with the Malawi Government. Mark asked if they thought they had been in breach of the WHO code in the intervening 5 years. They haven't answered.
Response on the tin from Mozambique was that it was a rogue tin which had been smuggled in from S Africa to avoid customs duty. They don't market in Mozambique and anyway why isn't there any Afrikaans on the tin either.
Well there is not room on the tin for three languages, yet tins in Switzerland have 3 languages, French German and Italian.
Another tin from Malawi instructions in English Afrikaans and Zulu which is great, but the warning is only in English.
One from Pakistan, no Urdu on it at all.
Nan1 and Nan2 Infant formula and follow-on formula (which must not be given to infants) no appropriate language.
EU Directive - "These products shall be labelled in an appropriate language and in such a way as to avoid any risk of confusion between infant formulae and follow-on formulae."
This prepared in the Netherlands so is subject to EU directives.
Mark rings up Bournemouth MP who is meeting up with a Nestle rep in a hotel in Bournemouth. Mark then rings an MEP (Richard Howitt) who agrees to come along as well.
Mark does an interview about the baby Milk with the MEP with the Nestle reps sat behind them then go and have a chat with Nestle.
Mark makes them very uncomfortable.
Mark asks Nestle if they will remove the statement in their charter that they comply with the WHO code if they are not complying with it.
Tess Kingham is going to take Nestle toe the Advertising standards about their charter. Richard Howitt will raise it in the European Parliament.

Credits

Written and performed by: MARK THOMAS
Associate Producers: JACK CHESHIRE, CHRISTOPHER MARTIN
Researchers: DUNCAN BARNES, SUSAN FOULIS
Production Team: JAYNE HANCOCK, NICK MICOURIS
Production Assistant: CHARLOTTE HILLS
Production Manager: CATHERINE STRAUSS
Titles & Design: BLAZKHO
Scenic Supervisor: GABRIEL MOSSA
Gaffer: STEVE SMITH
Vision Mixer: LEIGH PANTON
Floor Manager: GRIFF EVANS
OB Camera Supervisor: ALAN HADDOW
Sound Supervisor: KEITH NIXON
Lighting Director: ROBIN THORBURN
Location Camera: JAMES SALIGARI
Location Sound: MARK JELBERT, SEAN TAYLOR
Additional Camera: BRIAN ROBERTS
Dubbing Mixer: ELI PERL
On Line Editor: NICK KING
Off Line Editor: STEVE TEMPIA
Director: MICHAEL CUMMING
Producer: GEOFF ATKINSON
Made by VERA for Channel Four
© Channel Four Television Corporation MCMXCIX

Show 4 - Aldermaston AWE.

Nestle

At the Harrogate conference there was a BNFL stall there and Mark couldn't resist running up to them and shouting "see you soon"!

Aldermaston

Did a bit on Sellafield in a previous series. BNFL have had to spend nearly a million quid fixing things to stop the seagulls getting contaminated.
They claim they have an excellent safety record and are very open about any accidents.
This year they have had a nitric acid spill that hospitalised 2 people, they have an allegedly forged health and monitoring certificate, incomplete forms on a nuclear flask and, because a sealed source went missing, they got an improvement notice served on them.
Managed to get hold of some of their on-site briefing on health and safety.
A cable with a plug at one end and bare wires at the other was found plugged in at Thorpe (a repeat occurrence).
BNFL are in a consortium with Lockheed-Martin who had a stall at the labour party conference this year, not that they wish to influence anybody about winning the contract to run Aldermaston.
Aldermaston AWE currently run by Hunting Brae.
2 months into their contract a worker misread a label and poured liquid tritium somewhere he shouldn't have resulting in Tritium being found in the nearby Aldermaston stream which feed the river Kennet which supplies Reading with some of it's drinking water.
1997 they start doing managed discharges into the Aldermaston stream without permission. They are allowed to discharge nuclear waste but they have to do it through the Pangbourne pipeline.
Environment agency found out and held a public meeting at Beale Park, Pangbourne on 5th October 1999. Mark decided to attend.
They claim the environment agency knew about the discharges in 1997 but the environment agency say they only found out about them in 1999.
Mark goes down to Aldermaston where there are signs saying "Photography, sketching and carrying of cameras forbidden"!
On the same day a local MP (Martin Salter) was visiting the site and Mark managed to get hold of his mobile phone number. Took along a skycrane and phoned him from the top of it.
He agrees to a chat afterwards in the crane.
He isn't impressed with the facilities at the site. Current management don't know what's on the site due to the MOD's previous behaviour who just used to bury things on the site.
Aldermaston agree to the interview at 2:30 the next day.
Meet with Dr John Crofts, the "assurance director" of AWE Hunting Brae, who says they are trying to be more open but this is obviously quite painful because we have to get over some embarrassments. They call it "the pain barrier" and you have to get through the pain barrier.
Mark says "I am part of that barrier".
Don't find radioactivity, but there was a movement of Plutonium during a flash flood. Also admits Uranium leaked onto someone else's land.
Started to talk about the people who had been contaminated and went through the 14 cases and he gets the number down to 11, but then admits there have been some more accidents making the total 14.
Mark finds out the plutonium is less well packed than his sandwiches at school.
Mark commends them on their openness and suggests a visitor centre. Dr Crofts says that has been a pipe-dream of theirs for some time!
Put a sign up advertising Visitor centre coming soon.

Credits

Written and performed by: MARK THOMAS
Associate Producers: JACK CHESHIRE, CHRISTOPHER MARTIN
Researchers: DUNCAN BARNES, SUSAN FOULIS
Production Team: JAYNE HANCOCK, NICK MICOURIS
Production Assistant: CHARLOTTE HILLS
Production Manager: CATHERINE STRAUSS
Titles & Design: BLAZKHO
Scenic Supervisor: GABRIEL MOSSA
Gaffer: STEVE SMITH
Vision Mixer: LEIGH PANTON
Floor Manager: GRIFF EVANS
OB Camera Supervisor: TONY KEENE
Sound Supervisor: KEITH NIXON
Lighting Director: ROBIN THORBURN
Location Camera: JAMES SALIGARI, ANDY NEWLYN
Location Sound: SEAN TAYLOR
Additional Camera: PAUL MUNGEAM
Dubbing Mixer: ELI PERL
On Line Editor: NICK KING
Off Line Editor: STEVE TEMPIA
Director: MICHAEL CUMMING
Producer: GEOFF ATKINSON
Made by VERA for Channel Four
© Channel Four Television Corporation MCMXCIX

Show 5 - ECGD.

ECGD - FIRD WHIRL BAY LIF

They underwrite British business. If you're exportin to nother country and they default, the British taxpayer (you, me, Ken Dodd, etc.) cough for it and they put it on their national debt.
It's estimated that about 95% of 3rd world debt owed to Britain comes from the ECGD.
This year, Saudi Arabia has received a billion pounds worth of goods (all military), Brunei has received 0.6 million pounds worth (all military) underwritten by the ECGD. Anyone see a pattern here?
Some of the top consumers of ECGD this year are Indonesia, Turkey, China... anyone see that link yet?
Mark phones up the chief press officer, Robin Ogleby.
MT: "It's Mark Thomas here"
RO: "We've met, we've done gigs together"
RO: "I used to play in a band"
MT: "What Band"
RO: "The Happy End"
MT: "What the 22 piece Marxist Jazz band?"
RO" "Yes"
The band's song titles included

There's nothing quite like money (Kurt Weil)
The East is Red
On Suicide
Solidarity Song
Singing of the Socialist Motherland
Song of the Lower Classes

RO: "We've been doing a lot of Airbuses recent, lots of civilian stuff'
MT: "Much military?"
RO: "Not really."
In the House of Commons Library it says that 51% of the 3 Billion underwritten by the ECGD is military. Higher than it ever was under the Tories.
RO: "Oh is it as much as that?"
MT: "Well you're the fucking press officer, mate!"
MT: "Why do you keep flogging this stuff to dictators?"
RO: "Well the thing is Mark, dictators rarely default"
But what about Indonesia who defaulted on Hawk jets, what about Saddam Hussain? We sold £70 million pounds worth of stuff to him which he defaulted on and we (The taxpayer) ended up paying for. We not only Armed Saddam but we paid for it as well!
RO: "Yes we're quite angry with Saddam Hussain."
The IMF has stated that arms exports using export credits should cease. This is like Pol Pot saying "Hitler went too far".
Currently ECGD breaks even, in a couple of years they estimate £833 million in debt. So Mark tries to get some credit and phones up HSBC bank.
Says they have bit of money left over from the show's budget and are hoping to do a deal with Brazil. An Airbus fitted out with crop spraying equipment. Asks for a 3 million loan.
Then try Nat West trying to get a £5 million loan on a new type of bus with three decks for Mexico City, smaller deck on top for toddlers. Nearly got it!
If you try and find out information about the ECGD deals there is nothing available.
Decide to have a go at Stephen Byers of the DTI at the LSE New Statesman Annual Conference on 8 September 1999 who was speaking about the importance of the Internet and access to information.
Comes to question time at the end, MT gets the microphone and asks a question about the ECGD underwriting of the construction of the Ilisu Dam in Turkey and the fact that the report is being suppressed and won't be made public until after the contract is signed.
Byers says they are going to release the environmental impact assessment at the same time as we make our decision as whether we are going to underwrite it.
Mark grabs him as he comes off stage and he agrees to talk on camera about it.
Get all the facts and send them to his aide in the DTI asking questions about who sells what arms to what countries, how much they have defaulted on, meeting minutes, discussion papers, etc. They phone back and say "no problem".
After much prevarication nothing is forthcoming. Beyers has twice arranged interview dates and then cancelled.
Phone up RO again. As you were so upset with Saddam, they decide to help.
Get a skip lorry full of scrap metal from Iraq (about 70 quids worth)
Phone David Hannah, Parliamentary and Assistant Press Officer ECGD and offer it to them to help write off the debt.
Take the lorry round to the ECGD and try and leave it with them.
Police turn up pretty sharpishly and tell them the lorry is illegally parked so they have to move it on.
Next try the treasury who tell them to fuck off.
Then on to the DTI to ask how the interview with Stephen Byers is coming on, no joy.
Next day, fax arrives from RO, apologising for missing Mark the previous day.
"Sorry I missed you this morning mate. Your scrap metal wheeze was very funny - you should be a comedian. The offer to help reduce the Iraqi debt was a kind one - but have you got written authority from Saddam to act on his behalf? All the very best, Robin Ogleby."
Thursday afternoon phoned up and asked for a copy of the advisory councils member's interests.
They fax over a list of all the directorships. Stupidly went down to companies house and checked there to see if the information matched. Really stupid thing as we now have a shitload of work to do.
5 out of the 11 committee members have factually incorrect information down.

Lesley Knox, The British Linen Bank - 12 undisclosed directorships
Peter Mason, Amec PLC - Undisclosed directorship
Alan Brown, Barclays Capital - Incorrect job description
David Harrison, Lloyds TSB - Incorrect number of directorships
Dr Arnab Banerji - Foreign & Colonial Emerging Markets Ltd - Incorrect directorships.

Mark phones Lesley Knox live on the show (well, live at the recording)
She claims she sent a list of the directorships to the ECGD but can't remember when
Mark gets "The hat of non-conflict of interests" and tries to visit these people.
First stop Nick Tennant, Media Relations Manager, Thames Water plc.
Go back to the ECGD and present the facts (this time without the skip) and get surrounded by security guards who refuse to let them in.
Phone up to try and get a comment, but no response.
Mark goes to the DTI and they agree to take a copy but again security refuse to let them in.
Still no interview with Byers. Called him at home, no answer but hen got a ring-back call from his partner who takes a long time to tell them he's not in.
Mark calls him from the show and the phone is hung up immediately at the other end.
Consultation process is extended by a few days and they invite people to phone in and comment on the plan. Mark gives out the number of the ECGD helpline.

Credits

Written and performed by MARK THOMAS
Assistant Producers JACK CHESHIRE, CHRISTOPHER MARTIN
Researchers DUNCAN BARNES, SUSAN FOULIS
Production Team JAYNE HANCOCK, NICK MICOURIS
Production Assistant CHARLOTTE HILLS
Production Manager CATHERINE STRAUSS
Titles & Design BLAZKHO
Scenic Supervisor GABRIEL MOSSA
Gaffer STEVE SMITH
Vision Mixer CHRIS ALLEN
Floor Manager GRIFF EVANS
OB Camera Supervisor TIM HIGHMOOR
Sound Supervisor KEITH MAYES
Lighting Director ROBIN THORBURN
Location Camera JAMES SALIGARI
Location Sound SEAN TAYLOR
Additional Camera JULES SENIOR
Dubbing Mixer ELI PERL
On Line Editor NICK KING
Off Line Editor STEVE TEMPIA
Director MICHAEL CUMMING
Producer GEOFF ATKINSON
Made by VERA for Channel 4
Copyright Channel Four Television Corporation MM

Show 6 - David Shayler and the OSA.

David Shayler

A weird one and a half, weirder than Ian Paisley mounting Delia Smith!
Mark was reading an article by David Shayler in Punch that said that MI5 had a file on Mark.
Has him down as a Trostkyite sympathiser. There are anarchist mates of Mark's that will grill him for days over this. Mark? A Trot?
Phoned up David and had a little chat with him 5 minutes before talking to Jack Straw at a freedom of Information meeting. Bumrushed Jack as he was coming off stage to ask if he knew if there were any MI5 files on comedians.
Most spies are civil servants. report published recently by the Intelligence and Security committee that oversees MI5. A few bits of interesting information.
In the interest of openness they will publish the expenditure over the years for the agencies, but blanked it out in the published report.
Some detail left in. Bill for refurbishment of Thames House MI5 Building for tables, chairs, carpets, etc. was £227 million!
Another phone call from David Shayler - would Mark come to chat to him in Paris.
Paris - 25 November 1999.
There are spies in Britain who are not being prosecuted even though MI5 knows about them.
Including a 1970's trade union leader who gave arms secrets to the KGB.
David has evidence that he hands to Mark for him to hand in as he is likely to get arrested if he goes in the British Embassy.
Mark doesn't want this information to fall into the wrong hands so he takes along a small bodyguard of 4 French acrobats. There's a reason for this as in Diamonds are Forever Sean Connery gets kicked about by Bambi and Thumper the Flik-Flacking ninja queens.
Mark delivers the evidence but he drops it on the floor. Mark asks for ID of the embassy person that he hands the details over to before doing a bijou bit of Acrobat himself on leaving the embassy
When Mark dropped the letter the documents fell out of the envelope and Mark isn't sure if any of the acrobats and he can't ask them as that would be breaking the OSA again!
Mark brought the French tumblers back to Britain so they could go to MI5 and be debriefed.
So they go to Thames House. Mark explained what happened while the acrobats perform in the foyer, the alarm status is "Black Special".
The foyer the acrobats perform in is empty of furniture! MI5 have been ripped off by a conspiracy of Japanese minimalists!
There is a pub quiz shield in the security guard box, with the names of winners of the inter-department quiz. Mark has to write to Jack Straw about this as enemy agents would be able to work out the status of the intelligence in the divisions.
MI5 told them that if he knew of a breach of the OSA they should report it to the police. Anyway they popped around to see MI6 who knew they were coming as they'd shut all the gates so they wouldn't be able to film over the gate. But they had a cunning technique.
Police turn up to ask them to move along but won't talk on camera.
Mark then phones the Home office and says they have gone back to Paris and they may be revealing he names in their show.
Mark offers to go on French TV to deny the acrobats know anything.
If Mark reports them to the police, special branch would have to have them extradited. Mark doesn't know how that that story appears in the Guardian the next day.
Mark went to the Home Office the next day and there was a spontaneous demonstration by circus performers to "free the French four".
Important to find out what the French Acrobats saw so they asked them to spell the name out with sparklers.
Had to show the footage to the D-Notice committee to see if it could be televised.
Receive a fax from the committee. "Mark Thomas is a very talented comedian who is to be congratulated for his ingenuity and chutzpah. We look forward to seeing the programme in January."
Intelligence and Security Committee won't even hear the evidence that Shayler was arrested for, they don't admit it exists. They won't even talk about him. Michael Mates was interviewed once but got the facts wrong, Shayler resigned, he wasn't sacked as Mates claims.
Who can we take the evidence to? They bust into the premiere party for the new James Bond film "The World Is Not Enough", tried to see Pierce Brosnan who immediately called security and had Mark thrown out. What a wimpy James Bond he is.
Then he saw 'M' (Judi Dench) and gave her all our information.
She warned them that if it was a stitch up, she would be after them, which worried Mark.

Credits

Written and performed by: MARK THOMAS
With: LE CIRQUE DES ACROBATES NINJAS FRANCAIS
Associate Producer: JACK CHESHIRE
Researchers: DUNCAN BARNES, SUSAN FOULIS
Production Team: JAYNE HANCOCK, NICK MICOURIS
Production Assistant: CHARLOTTE HILLS
Production Manager: CATHERINE STRAUSS
Titles & Design: BLAZKHO
Scenic Supervisor: GABRIEL MOSSA
Gaffer: STEVE SMITH
Vision Mixer: CAROLE CHESSUN
Floor Manager: GRIFF EVANS
OB Camera Supervisor: ROB SARGENT
Sound Supervisor: KEITH MAYES
Lighting Director: ROBIN THORBURN
Location Camera: JAMES SALIGARI
Location Sound: MARK JELBERT
Additional Camera: BRIAN ROBERTS
Dubbing Mixer: ELI PERL
On Line Editor: NICK KING
Off Line Editor: STEVE TEMPIA
Director: MICHAEL CUMMING
Producer: GEOFF ATKINSON
Made by VERA for Channel Four
© Channel Four Television Corporation MM

Show 7 - Human Milk Production.

Nestle

WHO believe that if you reverse the downward trend in breast feeding you could save 1.5 million children's lives a year
Nestle haven't been labelling their baby milk products properly
They manage to print the labels in 3 languages in Switzerland but not in South Africa
Mark got invited out to an international conference of News gatherers and investigative journalists, The News World Conference in Barcelona on 5th November 1999
Asked to give a keynote speech!
250 journalists in the room so lets use them, so Mark phones Hans-Jorg Renk, the assistant vice-president, Press & Information, Nestle S.A. on speakerphone to ask a few questions.
He wouldn't talk to him so Mark passed the phone over to someone else. Tony Donovan, director of television & visual, Reuters.
He says he can't improvise answers so he gets passed on to Richard Sambrook, head of news gathering, BBC.
And a few others
Mr Renk isn't having a good time

GM baby milk

Found a patent application by PPL, linked to the Roslin Institute who gave us Dolly the Sheep
The patent is for a genetically modified cow that will produce the human proteins in human breast milk.
Think Nestle must be involved, they can only be wanting to make powdered milk products for this.
A company called Wyath (Sp?) are involved - they produce SMA baby milk

Nestle

Mark finds out that the chief exec of Nestle is appearing at Oriel College Oxford, 30th November 1999
They get in after one of the students lets them in a side door. The place is full of security guards.
Mark has to hide the camera down his trousers.
The head of corporate affairs is sitting in the front row and she recognises Mark
Speech is about corporate trust
Mark gets a question in after the speech
By now Jack has got the camera, but the security guards surround him
Mark asks if Mr Brabeck objects if they film his answer, he says OK
So the security guards have to stand down
Ask again why they can print in 3 languages in Switzerland but only 2 in Africa. He says he'll get an answer.
Next Mark finds out that Dr Timothy Stamps, Minister of Health and Child Welfare, Zimbabwe and Vice President of the World Health Assembly is visiting Britain and gets an interview with him.
Ass about the letter that Nestle are using in their PR in response to criticisms.
He says that the letter was written by his nutritional committee which comprises 14 people, 3 of whom are from the food marketing association, 2 of which are from infant formula production companies, one of which is Nestle.
Mark asks him what he would say to Mr Brabeck if he was there, he replies "Why do you want to destroy my children? Are you interested in ethnic cleansing?"
Start getting letters and faxes from Mr Brabeck
"I am issuing an order to all our companies that all our formula products must have the required elements on the label in the primary common language."
They stick to their word in Malawi and now have Chechewa instructions on the packaging

GM Baby milk

Mark gets a phone call from someone who attended the Barcelona conference about the GM cows and finds out that a herd of them exist!
PPL in Virginia have produced the cows and Wyath are sponsoring
Mark phones up PPL Virginia and gets through to David Ayares the Vice President of Research and Development, PPL Therapeutics Inc.
They talk about the introduction of the Human milk gene
Mark has an animal impersonator with him on in the studio
Says they are now looking to expand the herd and admits this will be a nutritional product and they are talking to all the major infant formula companies about it. They are 30 months from market.
Mark says he is actually in a farm yard now and has some fun with the use of the animal impersonator
Then phone PPL in Cheshire and talk to them about the plan to launch it commercially, they deny they plan to release it as an infant formula
More fun with the impersonator.
Their statement is:

"the company does not, and never has had any plan to produce a cow which produces human breast milk - the PPL cows produce their own milk but with the human protein alpha lactalbumin in. This has potentially life saving benefits for premature babies and would be subject to clinical trials and licensing as with pharmaceutical products, before being made available as a medical nutritional product. It will be 30 months before the research is at a stage when such trials can take place."
"The use of this human protein as an additive to conventional infant formula is only a long term theoretical possibility and no decision to seek to use the product in any way has been made."
"PPL currently has no agreements with any manufacturers to commercialise the product. No taxpayer money is being used in connection with this product."
"Finally PPL say that there are only three cows involved, not twenty and it is therefore wrong to call it a herd."

Now very odd that the company is contradicting itself
Another letter from Nestle Arrives saying "Pakistan. We will sticker all new cans of formula delivered (in Urdu) and will attempt to sticker existing stock in grocery stores that we are able to visit."
Pop around to MAFF (Ministry of Agriculture Fisheries and Food) to ask a few questions (21st December 1999) with a milk tanker.
Take some "breast milk" from the tanker and start cleaning the windows.
Nestle write again saying they have been asked "to explore the possibility of other packaging otherwise a withdrawal will be necessary".

Credits

Written and performed by: MARK THOMAS
Associate Producers: JACK CHESHIRE, CHRISTOPHER MARTIN
Researchers: DUNCAN BARNES, SUSAN FOULIS
Production Team: JAYNE HANCOCK, NICK MICOURIS
Production Assistant: CHARLOTTE HILLS
Production Manager: CATHERINE STRAUSS
Titles & Design: BLAZKHO
Scenic Supervisor: GABRIEL MOSSA
Gaffer: STEVE SMITH
Vision Mixer: CAROL ABBOTT
Floor Manager: ALAN CONLEY
OB Camera Supervisor: TONY KEENE
Sound Supervisor: KEITH NIXON
Lighting Director: ROBIN THORBURN
Location Cameras: JAMES SALIGARI, ANDY NEWLYN
Location Sound: SEAN TAYLOR
Dubbing Mixer: ELI PERL
On Line Editor: NICK KING
Off Line Editor: STEVE TEMPIA
Director: MICHAEL CUMMING
Producer: GEOFF ATKINSON
Made by VERA for Channel Four
© Channel Four Television Corporation MM

Show 8 - Xenotransplantation.

Pig Hearts

This is animal organs being transplanted into human beings, such as pig's hearts into human beings
One of the companies pushing this is Novartis who are a big GM company. They are a merger of 2 previous companies, Sandoz and CIBA.
They commisioned a report from the Solomon brothers on the unrecognised potential of xenotransplantation
They predict that the pig heart transplant market will be worth $5 billion a year by 2010, charging $12,000 per pig heart, a mark up of 1,100%
These GM pigs say they won't be able to sell the carcasses except for cat food
But they also have to sell immuno-uppressant drugs along with the pig hearts.
Worried about retro-viruses that exist in the pig that may re-activate. Similar to BSE, CJD, AIDS, Swine fever.
Went along to an open meeting of UKXIRA (UK Xenotransplantation Interim Regulatory Authority) on 6th December 1999
Mark asks a member of the panel, John Dark, Consultant Cardiothoracic Surgeon, Freeman Hospital, Newcastle, about his financial lins with industry.
He says he has no financial links other than the fact that they sometimes aid his visits to scientific meetings. They are supposed to declare any such aid.
Mark's mate Ricky Grover is there. Mar asks the panel if they have met anyone who has had an animal organ transplant.
Ricky stands up and says he's got sheep's kidneys and has some fun.
Lord Habgood, an ex Archbishop of York runs up and tries to stop them filming with the camera, Mark threatens to call the police.
He breaks the camera which is criminal damage.
Hoped to get a few interviews, but it appears we had burnt our bridges...
Dressed in virus protective outfits they visit Lord Habgood again

Novartis

Went to Cambridge to visit some biotech companies
Dr Corinne Savill, the Chief Operating Officer of Imutran, a subsidiary agrees to talk to him.
She stresses the company is trying to provide a good return for it's shareholders as well as benefitting patients
Suggest a non-donor card be carried by people asking for their organs be shredded
A pig heart has been proved to keep a primate alive for a month

The Genome project

Task to map out the entire set of human genes
And copyright them, 6,500 patents already been take out
Mark tries to get some genetic material from some MPs to try and get his own patents registered especially the pompous gene.
Genome project trying to iron out genetic kinks to remove disabilities rather devaluing the lives of disabled people
Go to See Yvette cooper, MP, health minister in charge of coronary heart disease, communicable diseases, ethical issues and genetics & gene therapy.
Take a couple of disabled friends along to ask some searching questions
But she doesn't respond

Credits

Written and performed by: MARK THOMAS
With: RICKY GROVER
Associate Producers: JACK CHESHIRE, CHRISTOPHER MARTIN
Researchers: DUNCAN BARNES, SUSAN FOULIS
Production Team: JAYNE HANCOCK, NICK MICOURIS
Production Assistant: CHARLOTTE HILLS
Production Manager: CATHERINE STRAUSS
Titles & Design: BLAZKHO
Scenic Supervisor: GABRIEL MOSSA
Gaffer: TERRY SMITH
Vision Mixer: LEIGH PANTON
Floor Manager: TOBY BAKER
OB Camera Supervisor: TIM HIGHMOOR
Sound Supervisor: KEITH NIXON
Lighting Director: ROBIN THORBURN
Location Cameras: SIMON NIBLETT, JAMES SALIGARI
Location Sound: JULIAN CHATTERJEE, SEAN TAYLOR
Dubbing Mixer: ELI PERL
On Line Editor: NICK KING
Off Line Editor: STEVE TEMPIA
Director: MICHAEL CUMMING
Producer: GEOFF ATKINSON
Made by VERA for Channel Four
© Channel Four Television Corporation MM

Show 9 - ECGD and the Ilisu Dam.

ECGD

"Insurance scheme for arms dealers"
52% of ECGD business was arms sales
96% of developing countries debt owed to Britain
Nigerian High Commissioner
Nigeria - 31 Billion debt was 3 billion but accumulated penalties and interest
Mark buys a years worth of lottery tickets for Nigeria
Takes a shirt from the Nigerian high commissioner
Tries to give it to Vivian Brown with little success
Ghana - treasury wouldn't write off debt
Costs each person $28 to pay off cf $16 they get for health and education
Flt Lt Gerry Rawlings runs Ghana
He kicked the vice president in the bollocks in a cabinet meeting in 1995
Mark phones him, he denies it
Part 2
Future of the ECGD report by the MOD and others - secret report not viewable for 30 yrs
But Mark gets a look
Nothing to be gained by human rights or environmental concerns in ECGD business
Q to Blair: Why have you lifted the arms embargo on Indonesia?
He thinks the way to make it more stable is to sell it more guns.
We've got it wrong in N Ireland with decommissioning then.
Blair is an arms dealer

Ilisu Dam

2 reports one published, one not
the published one is damning, what the fuck does the unpublished one say?
Stephen Byers delays statement after telling Mark he would be "pleasantly surprised"
eventually announces on 21st december same day as hamilton verdict
Byers says he is "minded to approve the project". Mark is not "pleasantly surprised" after all.
Christmas decorations at Stephen Byers house to cheer things up
Mark quizzes him about the 4 conditions as he gets into his car.
Guest: Lord Avebury

Response from Blair to Lord Avebury's letter
The commission's report on Turkey identified serious shortcomings in the areas of democracy, human rights, minorities and the role of the military in civilian life.
A local Turkish firm will cope with the first phase of the resettlement plan of the 15,000 Kurds.

So Blair does know the score, but was he personally oinvolved in the decision?
We'll get rid of your debt so you should be privatising your utilities

Credits

Written and performed by: MARK THOMAS
With: LORD AVEBURY
Associate Producers: JACK CHESHIRE, CHRISTOPHER MARTIN
Researchers: DUNCAN BARNES, SUSAN FOULIS
Production Team: JAYNE HANCOCK, NICK MICOURIS
Production Assistant: CHARLOTTE HILLS
Production Manager: CATHERINE STRAUSS
Titles & Design: BLAZKHO
Scenic Supervisor: GABRIEL MOSSA
Gaffer: STEVE SMITH
Vision Mixer: LEIGH PANTON
Floor Manager: GRIFF EVANS
OB Camera Supervisor: ALAN HADDOW
Sound Supervisor: KEITH NIXON
Lighting Director: ROBIN THORBURN
Location Camera: SIMON NIBLETT
Location Sound: SEAN TAYLOR
Dubbing Mixer: ELI PERL
On Line Editor: NICK KING
Off Line Editor: STEVE TEMPIA
Director: MICHAEL CUMMING
Producer: GEOFF ATKINSON
Made by VERA for Channel Four
© Channel Four Television Corporation MM

Show 10 - Government Accountability.

Jack Straw

Is a liar and loves a scapegoat
In opposition he was against everything he is now for
Pinochet too ill to stand trial apparently
Mark goes down to Wentworth where he is staying dressed as a golfer and claims he's knocked his ball into Pinochet's garden and wants to get it back.
Police try and find the ball for him
Americans have a freedom of information act which is second to none
If US officials write stuff down the pubic can get hold of it
CIA released a document in October 1970, supporting the overthrow of the democratically elected government. It says "It is firm and continuing policy that Allende be overthrown by a coup."
Another excerpt "Submachine guns and ammo being sent by regular courier." (to Santiago)
Also released a telegram to acting Deputy Chief of Mission, US Embassy, London on 2nd June 1998 - "we understand that the Cabinet may ytake up the issue at it's Thursday June 4 meeting.". So they know what's happening in a cabinet meeting that is yet to take place.
We can't find out what's happening in our own government
Jack Straw is in charge of the bill but there are so many exceptions that you can find out less after the bill is passed than you could before.
He knows that information is power.
Under the US FOI act we found out that John Prescott has been lobbying the secretary of state for transport for landing slots for BA aircraft at Denver airport. In a letter on 25th June 1998 he says "I would be most grateful if you could now authorise the immediate commencement of the BA Denver service."
Go down to a labour party meeting in Southall with a few Jaguar cars with Chauffers in them all with "Mr Prescott" on a sign in the window.
Drove the first 3 up and the police opened the gates and let them in, then a few more were let in probably about 14 of them and parked next to his real car.

The Cambridge 2

Jack Straw has found another Scapegoat
There's a homeless hostel in Cambridge called Winter Comfort.
Two of the people that work there, John Brock and Ruth Wyner, co-operated with an undercover police exercise to catch drug dealers.
They arrested 8 dealers and they also arrested Ruth and John under section 8 of the misuse of drugs act which states that a person commits an offense if they knowingly permit or suffer the supply of a controlled drug to another.
They said that Ruth and John hadn't made confidential notes available to the police that may have contained information about the suspicions of people that might be addicts.
They were imprisoned for 5 years and 4 years respectively.
Spoke to the local Labour MP, Anne Campbell who said that it was a "huge miscarriage of justice". She had written to Jack Straw.
Visit Cambridge, goes to Parkside Police Station in 27th January 2000 get a group of people who work on various local drug and homelessness projects to hand themselves in.
Inspector Mike Brown speaks to the locals but he wont arrest them
He admits that this particular ruling is very difficult to fit in with their work
on 13th January Mark, dressed up as a military leader (Hitler) along with a few colleagues including Steve Murray dressed as Mussolini in similar attire bumrush Jack Straw to show support
Manage to get him again later

Credits

Written and performed by: MARK THOMAS
Associate Producers: JACK CHESHIRE, CHRISTOPHER MARTIN
Researchers: DUNCAN BARNES, SUSAN FOULIS
Production Team: JAYNE HANCOCK, NICK MICOURIS
Production Assistant: CHARLOTTE HILLS
Production Manager: CATHERINE STRAUSS
Titles & Design: BLAZKHO
Scenic Supervisor: GABRIEL MOSSA
Gaffer: STEVE SMITH
Vision Mixer: LEIGH PANTON
Floor Manager: GRIFF EVANS
OB Camera Supervisor: ROB SARGENT
Sound Supervisor: KEITH NIXON
Lighting Director: ROBIN THORBURN
Location Cameras: SIMON NIBLETT
Location Sound: SEAN TAYLOR
Additional Camera: JULES SENIOR
Dubbing Mixer: ELI PERL
On Line Editor: NICK KING
Off Line Editor: STEVE TEMPIA
Director: MICHAEL CUMMING
Producer: GEOFF ATKINSON
Made by VERA for Channel Four
© Channel Four Television Corporation MM

Show 11 - Series updates.

Nestle

Richard Howitt, MEP 19 Jan 2000 brought up the Nestle baby-milk labelling problem at the European Parliament
"Nestle have instructed that all baby milk must be labelled in the correct primary common language by 30 March 2000"

Iraqi sanctions, bear to Iraq

Recently banned Iraq from importing 12 bulls from France
Bear did get to Baghdad hospital

Shayler

D-Notice committee Nick Wilkinson
Played him the long version of the tape
He thought it very funny but has to show it to MI5 and MI6
David Shayler has said he will send Mark a Xmas card and in the card he will put a surprise in
Mark wants to know if the surprise breaks the OSA and he reads it will he be liable to a charge?
Nick Wilkinson says, "Not if you bring it straight to me".
Xmas card arrives and Mark phones up to be told not to open it, Nick will read it for him.
He reads it and starts laughing " I haven't got a problem with that".
It reads "To Mark and Jack" ****** ***** has an MI5 file, have a good one, Dave." (In the interests of national security the name has been withheld)
Can't tell us the name, but it could be Cherie Blair.
cant broadcast the full contents of the card

Burma

After Mark's use of similes with the Burmese ambassador he gets a phone call from a mate. "Turn on the TV, Dr Kwai Win is on talking about democracy!"
He was there going "democracy is like a very delicate flower, it doesn't grow easily anywhere and is not easily transplantable" (Hardtalk, BBC World, 24 September 1999"

ECGD

Ilisu Dam. Day before the programme Mark leaked some of the documents to the Guardian who ran a front page item on the ECGD funding of the dam project.
Mark went along to the select committee hearing on international development
Richard Caborn giving evidence. Stephen Byers says he is minded to approve the project, he says he hasn't made his mind up, what is the status of the project?
"Well look, I'm the minister, and I'm telling yer, we haven't mad us mind up yet"
Has there been a report on what Kurdish people think of the dam? "Yes"
How big was the team, how long were they there for? "It was just one person that went, they were there for 8 days
Could they speak Kurdish? "No, they couldn't".
Even then the report is scathing of the whole project. Mark thought people should read this for themselves so Mark placed an advert in Saturday's Guardian (6 February 2000) detailing how to get your free copy of the report from the DTI.
Phoned up the DTI to ask for some copies and check they were free and requested half a dozen copies. Encourages audience to write in for their free copy.
Caborn was in full funk. After reading out he Guardian comment, he comments that the Guardian haven't submitted a report, so Mark persuades Alan Rusbridger (The Guardian Editor) to do just that.
ECGD have an advisory committee comprising people from industry, corporations, banks, etc. Wonder how much business these companies have received due to ECGD projects? This was tabled as parliamentary question number 105419 on 24th January 2000.
David McClachlan (HSBC Bank) said they received 794 million pounds of business relating to ECGD projects. That's over a quarter of the ECGD budget!
"There are no rules disbarring ECGD cover for companies or banks in which council members have a declared interest"
Ann Clwyd asked in the committee if this wasn't a conflict of interests to which Caborn replied "There is a conflict of interest all round...if they are not giving advice from the quarter or experience that they work in, why have their advice?". "I'm the minister, I like a sausage!"
Like saying "Yes we do sell guns to murderers, who else would use them?

Cambridge two

On the front page of "Baptist Times" is a story about the piece where Mark handed himself in at Parkside Police Station, Cambridge (27 January 2000).
Reverend Martin Blakeborough (Member, Advisory Committee on Misuse of Drugs and Director, Kaleidoscope) went along with Mark to a garden party where Mo Mowlam was appearing to ask how come money could be given for drug projects and then arrest people who are working on them?
Mo knew of the case and refused to answer as the case is under appeal.
Normal shit politician, that's what she is.
She says there are other people there with questions that she could be answering but all the journalists just looked around and twiddled their thumbs.

Aldermaston

Did a programme (12 October 1999) on how they were illegally discharging Tritium into the Aldermaston stream.
After we did the show the environment agency took them to court and charged them and on 13th December, Hunting Brae the operators pleaded guilty to all charges.
While we were down there we said they were doing so well dealing with the press maybe one day you'll open your own visitors centre, and they went "well that's been a pipe dream of ours for some time".
We went down and put up a big sign opposite the establishment saying AWE VISITORS CENTRE - COMING SOON...
Went and updated the sign with a banner confirming the court ruling.
Hunting Brae have also lost the contract to operate the centre, unfortunately BNF won it off them and they take over on April 1st.

The Dome

Went to the Dome which is everything Mark could have hoped for.
5th February 2000 Mark and a gang of associates went down there.
If you haven't been, Mark recommends you don't!
Designed for middle England. Nothing there for the people the Labour party are supposed to represent.
Went to the work zone, where this a glass wall with post-it notes behind it. A bunch of people just started sticking their own up. Things like "Old Mac Donald had a farm but it's been downsized since Monsanto became involved." Got about 60 or 70 up before someone spotted them and started taking them down, laughing at them as he read them.
Behind him people were just putting more up.
Next stop, The Mind Zone sponsored by British Aerospace Marconi The weapons system manufacturer. They sponsored the mind zone and there's nothing in it, presumably because they've shot it out.
Some friends from CAAT went in dressed up as generals asking to see the BAE Systems weapons
One of the PR people went up to someone and apologised if she was upset by this display. "Yes I am she said, I didn't know British Aerospace sponsored this zone!"
Formed up by the Home Planet zone (a big stick with a globe on it) Then suddenly all the UCATT trade unionist guys get out a load of banners, pile down to Macdonalds at speed and start asking if the staff are in a union and if they are getting minimum wage. MacDonalds doesn't recognise trade unions.
Security try and stop them, claim they are upsetting people (You can hear Sam in the background shouting "I'm not upset, I'm having a great time".
Next to the Body Zone with 10 people from the Kaleidoscope project that works with homeless people who started making tents out of blankets and sheets and settling down for the night under the body.
Security state the if the public are impacted by what they are doing they will be escorted from the premises. Mark asks what "impacted" means?
Arrange for the head of the companies press department (Adam Liversage, who is very nice) to come and talk to Mark.
He says they are OK there for the time being, Mark asks for a time limit for them staying there. "I'll look into it". Mark asks is that a minute or an hour? "I'll come back to you on that".
"Visitors are free to leave and re-enter the Dome at any time. The NMEC apologised for refusing our homeless visitors re-entry."
Now off to the main arena, by now being followed by security full time, but they have one more card to play. Mark goes over to them and chats, suddenly out of the corner of his eye catches 30 dancers on the main stage, taking their jackets off and they have each got one letter on their T-shirts, spelling out "£800 million quid for big tent seems crap"!
But more than that, they'd rehearsed it, so just by shuffling around a bit they could spell it in French, Italian and German.
Welsh bloke taps Mark on the shoulder and says "Are you responsible for this?". Mark says "Yes". "Best bloody thing I've seen in 'ere".
Tony Blair said that the Dome was going to be the opening paragraph of the Labour Party's next election manifesto.
"Tony, you'd better have a fucking good second paragraph, man".
"We did have one amazing day".

Credits

The Mark Thomas Product would like to thank: IAIN ARMSTRONG, GEOFF ATKINSON, CHRIS BARBER, DUNCAN BARNES, MARTIN BLAKEBOROUGH, DANIEL BOASE, DAVE LE BON, DAVID BRANDON, ALBIE BLACK, LOUISE BROCK & FAMILY, GIDEON BURROWS, JACK CHESHIRE, LISA COPSON, MICHAEL CUMMING, SIMON DAVIES, PHILIP DAY, WENDY DEANER, GRIFF EVANS, ROB EVANS, OLLIE FRANCE, SUSAN FOULIS, TONY GERAGHTY, RICKY GROVER, PAULINE GUTHRIE, ALAN HADDOW, JAYNE HANCOCK, RACHEL HARFORD, STEVE HATTON, STEVE HEADLEY, DAVID HENCKE, TIM HIGHMOOR, NICK HILDYARD, CHARLOTTE HILLS, PETER HIRST, MARTIN HOGBIN, STEVE JAGGER, STEVE KEMP, TONY KEENE, NICK KING, CLAIRE LEWIS, MARK LEVICK, JULIEN LOW, JOHN McMANUS, SCOTT MacKENZIE, CHRISTOPHER MARTIN, ALEXANDER MASTERS, KEITH MAYES, JANINE MELLONBY, NICK MICOURIS, ANDY MORLEY HALL, GABRIEL MOSSA, STEVE MURRAY, ANDY NEWLYN, SIMON NIBLETT, MIKE NICHOLSON, KEITH NIXON, TIM NORMINGTON, GREG PALAST, LEIGH PANTON, SAM PELLOW FREEMAN, ELI PERL, SIMON PERROT, DAVE PORTER, JOHN QUEL, JAMES RAMSAY, DEREK REDINGTON, BRIAN ROBERTS, JAMES SALIGARI, ROB SARGENT, JULES SENIOR, TOM SHAKESPEARE, PRAV SHETTY, STEVE SMITH, TERRY SMITH, CHRIS SQUELCH, HEATHER SQUIRE, ANDREW STANNING, CATHERIE STRAUSS, NICK SWIFT, SEAN TAYLOR, TARA TEELING, STEVE TEMPIA, ROBIN THORBURN, PETE VASEY, PETE WEBBER, VOICES IN THE WILDERNESS AND EVERYONE ELSE WHO HELPED ON THE SERIES
Made by VERA for Channel Four
© Channel Four Television Corporation MM

Series 4 - 11 Shows